Monday, March 8, 2010


i should be accustomed to the unrest
the stinging tears. the shallow breaths
this is a different kind of heartbreak...

lost thoughts in the rain
trying to catch them with my mouth open
realizations of a dream, a future fading
what once was is now gray like storm cloud
can i smoke here?
fight the urge as loves wipes the blood from its dagger.
pain pain pain
'til my tears freeze        or melt into a bucket
        full of ice.
ice from the dimly lit machine of the 31st floor...
snotty nose awakenings, bad decisions
raw feelings
displeasure from raw pleasure
lead the way, guide me
toward diseaster tho i jus began to heal
lack of faith...hurts to the core
must we get even?
and with no way home
no return flight
i find myself alone
   in the dimly lit corner of the odd juxtaposition between longing and loneliness.
is this what i prayed for, all those nights?
this what i longed for?
never-again promises made to the ice machine
   on the 31st floor.
thankfully i can feel the sleep coming and
the ache fading away. a sigh of relief for
the familiar numbness in my chest, all feelings
goodnight ice machine.
goodnight new york.

1985nectar strikes again. inspiration is priceless.


  1. OMG. Did i just have flashbacks of myself on nights when I wished I could cry but forgot how to in this poem??

    I wish I could get a breakdown of each line and what it means to you. Next time I come home. But I feel you or more correctly - this poem made me feel me.

    "is this what i prayed for, all those nights?"

    Loving the Ice Machine on the 31st floor imagery - explain it?

    Temper trap's : Soldier On is the theme song for my LIFE now.

  2. the last time i was in new york (u remember -jay z concert) it was late late late at night -so much so it was morning - i had wandered out of my hotel room and was trying to find a quiet place to think, really think. i ended up by an ice a lil enclosure. watching my tears disappear into a bucket of ice. and i wrote this on one of my "apps" in my pda lol