thank you kanye lmao.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
u can thank me now
so...word of the day is not really paralleling my life right now. (i mean - acedia: sloth; laziness or indifference to religious matters -really?? i cant do anything with that) so ive come up with something to share, consequently it comes in the form of a list (for simplicity & easy reading :)
THINGS TO DO WHEN THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE LEAVES YOU UNEXPECTEDLY
1. meet up with your girlfriends regularly
(make sure to tell them you are fine so that they treat you as such and dont pity you)
2. eat sushi & make sure to savor it
4. designate some time to be miserable (but after that 1hr or so its time to be productive)
4.5 listen to some french music - might help bring the tears ;o)
5. email your future NY roomie!
6. workout/yoga class/belly-dancing/ab blast/walk with your mom exercise
7. take a different route to work or home. appreciate where your life is now.
*at this point in the week you are at your 115% and feeling highly motivated
8. begin writing your business plan and actually following through
8.5 find some great fashion blogs TheMadburyClub Pike/Pine The Satorialist streetpeeper
9. have happy hour drinks and pizza with the guys (most hilarious 4 hrs of your week and you will realize that ALL men are not assholes that just cut you off and stop loving you)
10. really take some time out for yourself, a quiet time to listen to the thoughts youve been ignoring/advoiding to meditate and pray
11. listen to some drake and john mayer (they really know how to capture every emotion)
12. go out with your girls. disclaimer: this may include but is not limited to laughing excessively, dancing on table tops, running into chill law school guys that you met earlier in the week and having great conversation, dancing with a charming sri lankan man to indian music all night, meeting sexy scottish men here on business, and/or having one too many drinks and eating the best pancake and egg breakfast you've ever had.
(not quite this much fun lol)
13. recovery
14. enjoy the city. oh and pick up your pottery!
15. realize how great your life is, how much you have to look forward to, and be thankful that all the people in your life are positive, stimulating, and really appreciate you for who you are and what you're becoming. (special thanks to 'kenna. guzi. beans. moms. nikki. carmel. nina. demarco. devan p. kristina & colby - love ya'll)
-1985nectar "i dont get bitter i jus get better"
Thursday, July 1, 2010
hunky dory
about as well as one could wish or expect; satisfactory; fine; OK
its like the difference between the real truth and the fake truth. when someone tells you that everything in their life is "fine," do you believe them? kinda seems like theyre hiding something. in the past, i did my fair of pretending. pretending i fit in here or there, pretending i was good at chemistry, pretending that i knew about politics or music or fashion, pretending i wanted to hang out when i really wanted to be alone, pretending to study, pretending to be cool when im actually a nerd, pretending like i cared what someone was saying when actually i didnt give one shit. unfortunately, i lost my train of thought. i think i answered how are you doing with "im fine" too many times, to too many friends and waaaay too many family members.
at some point i realized that i was pretending. and that i was pretending because i didnt like the truth. i dont like confrontation or confrontation of the truth.
its kinda like when you have that friend, or that brother/sister/mom/dad/aunt/cousin who will always tells you the truth...so you tend to avoid them, or tell them half truths because you fear them telling you something that a.) you've already realized is true and/or b.) you dont wanna hear -- actually maybe those are one option.
maybe this makes no sense.
but seriously what if we all told the truth...ALL THE TIME? (did anyone jus get depressed??)
i am so much a "yes" person, that the idea of always being honest to everyone and especially to myself is depressing. thats so sick. revolting actually.
Yes, i'll accompany you.
Yes, i'll lend you some money.
Yes, you can borrow my shoes, mess them up and never give them back (college roomie).
Yes, you can break my heart.
Yes, i'll do this whole project by myself because you are no good.
Yes, i'll accept that you only put 14% effort into our friendship while im giving all i got.
Yes, i'll pay for your dinner.
Yes, i'll pick up your laundry.
Yes, i'll settle for mediocracy and status quo.
Yes, i'll go to med school for you.
Yes, i'll do a favor for you even though you barely return my cries for help.
Yes, i'll keep you around even though all you offer is negativity and impatience.
Yes, i'll fake laugh at all your lame jokes.
Yes, i'll let you undercut me with sarcastic jokes.
Yes, i'll try to understand you and see your side even though you brick-wall everything i say.
Sure, i'll suppress my true self because we wouldnt get along if i didn't.
fuck that. enough is enough. from here on out im boycotting (that, my friends, should be the wotd) pretending, white lies, loss of self, pacifying others and ignoring personal wants and needs, complacency, submission, ignorance, rejection, indecisiveness, negativity.
join me comrades! let us take the night!!
-1985nectar
its like the difference between the real truth and the fake truth. when someone tells you that everything in their life is "fine," do you believe them? kinda seems like theyre hiding something. in the past, i did my fair of pretending. pretending i fit in here or there, pretending i was good at chemistry, pretending that i knew about politics or music or fashion, pretending i wanted to hang out when i really wanted to be alone, pretending to study, pretending to be cool when im actually a nerd, pretending like i cared what someone was saying when actually i didnt give one shit. unfortunately, i lost my train of thought. i think i answered how are you doing with "im fine" too many times, to too many friends and waaaay too many family members.
at some point i realized that i was pretending. and that i was pretending because i didnt like the truth. i dont like confrontation or confrontation of the truth.
its kinda like when you have that friend, or that brother/sister/mom/dad/aunt/cousin who will always tells you the truth...so you tend to avoid them, or tell them half truths because you fear them telling you something that a.) you've already realized is true and/or b.) you dont wanna hear -- actually maybe those are one option.
maybe this makes no sense.
but seriously what if we all told the truth...ALL THE TIME? (did anyone jus get depressed??)
i am so much a "yes" person, that the idea of always being honest to everyone and especially to myself is depressing. thats so sick. revolting actually.
Yes, i'll accompany you.
Yes, i'll lend you some money.
Yes, you can borrow my shoes, mess them up and never give them back (college roomie).
Yes, you can break my heart.
Yes, i'll do this whole project by myself because you are no good.
Yes, i'll accept that you only put 14% effort into our friendship while im giving all i got.
Yes, i'll pay for your dinner.
Yes, i'll pick up your laundry.
Yes, i'll settle for mediocracy and status quo.
Yes, i'll go to med school for you.
Yes, i'll do a favor for you even though you barely return my cries for help.
Yes, i'll keep you around even though all you offer is negativity and impatience.
Yes, i'll fake laugh at all your lame jokes.
Yes, i'll let you undercut me with sarcastic jokes.
Yes, i'll try to understand you and see your side even though you brick-wall everything i say.
Sure, i'll suppress my true self because we wouldnt get along if i didn't.
fuck that. enough is enough. from here on out im boycotting (that, my friends, should be the wotd) pretending, white lies, loss of self, pacifying others and ignoring personal wants and needs, complacency, submission, ignorance, rejection, indecisiveness, negativity.
join me comrades! let us take the night!!
-1985nectar
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
yaw
verb; i. to move unsteadily, weave. ii. to deviate temporarily from a straight course.
my only self-imposed question of today is why do i keep saying im gonna do something and dont? whats it gonna take..a freakin lightning bolt? there's no day that's passed that i (we) will ever get back. so stop bein a pussy (to self)
whats stopping me? (besides fear)
whats stopping you?
my only self-imposed question of today is why do i keep saying im gonna do something and dont? whats it gonna take..a freakin lightning bolt? there's no day that's passed that i (we) will ever get back. so stop bein a pussy (to self)
whats stopping me? (besides fear)
whats stopping you?
Monday, June 28, 2010
yen
noun; a desire or craving.
usually, i find whats missing is the intimacy between me and my Creator. no day like the present
The Roots - Dear God 2.0 from Deejay Vince RU on Vimeo.
-1985nectar
Saturday, June 26, 2010
to put or hold in slavery; subjugate
anywhoo. post-burning.
its funny how todays w.o.t.d (word of the day) has a double meaning. like a sour patch kid, it seems to be a passionate sexy word with a positive (ehhh) meaning. but on the other side it throws a rock at ur window and cuts off your ponytail while ur sleeping (apparently in captivity - thats sick). which is kinda what ive been feeling about love lately. it seems...and im noticing more and more as i get closer to my big move-out-to-the-big-city-and-live-my-dream-that-ive-been-supressing-my destiny-that-ive-been-ignoring-and-leave-my-boyfriend-behind date gets closer and closer that somehow ive become enthralled in my relationship. im remembering myself before him and how strong and independent i was. my indecisiveness was limited to what i wanted to eat for dinner. i wasnt oversensitive and i could manage being alone by myself in a room or at night. i dont remember feeling an achy loneliness when unnamed significant other was not present or didnt call or text or come by to seem me. i dont remember complaining as much or having to pull myself out of a slump, unless it was a bad grade in organic chemistry class.
basically im saying maybe "love" shouldnt be enthralling? or maybe it should - just not for me. i feel like ive made myself a slave. not only to my emotions (not healthy) but to what society says a boyfriend should be/do. we all struggle with insecurities tho right?
i was reading this short do-dad where someone was interviewing this author, Beth Moore- about her book, So Long, Insecurity (which i was determined to buy at books-a-million but that idea rapidly turned repulsive when i saw that it was 24 dollars - thats gas money) and she said some things that really stuck with me. why of course, ill share them with you..glad u asked!
1. "insecurity can keep us from the full enjoyment and embodiment of the satisfying, productive, liberated life that Christ offers"
2. "i'd come to such a wonderful season [in her life], yet my enjoyment of it was suddenly being drained by all sorts of fresh fears [caused by insecurity].
3. "it [insecurity] causes us to be so easily offended or to feel overlooked or minimized, yet masquerades as a friend - the part of us that's always looking out for us in every situation."
crazy, eh? now maybe you can see where my rant is going? maybe not lol.
moving on.
has this post become a tad depressing? i hope not. at my followers requests (im lying..i dont have but 1 lol.. sigh) id like to share some things that make me smile.
1. music
no 1985nectar is not secretly a dj. but right now im listening to fools by temper trap and im smiling :)
2. books on sale
its just something about a book being on sale that gets me all excited inside. i dont kno why. maybe its just a sale in general. goodwill gives me the same feeling. and thrifting. and reasonably priced vintage clothes lol. fyi books a million is having a HUGE summer sale.
3. italy
(i just had this weird thought lol. who is gonna wanna read this long ass blog??! oh well )
its the trevi fountain in rome, italy. beautifully breathtaking. and this is just a picture.
it really lights my flame to think someday in the near future i will get to explore europe and i cannot wait.
one day. :)
okay thats enough insight into my soul for one night. thanks for playing guys.
until next time.
ur loving (but not enthralled) 1985nectar.
enthrall
to captivate or charm; to put or hold in slavery; subjugate
okay so its been awhileeeee right? right.
so instead of gettin right into what brings me here tonight, id like to start off on a happier note: me. i was lookin at my brother's blog and one can really get a sense of what kind of person he is and what he likes.
(random: theres a full moon at 11:30p tonight. i think you all should know..although im not sure why i think you all should know haha)
anywhooo. im thinkin its time i let you all take a little journey into the world of the mind behind 1985nectar. lets start with the name, shall we? we shall. Sooo, i came up with the name for my blog, oh i dont know, months ago as u can see. the idea behind the name may lead u to believe that im on some narcissist type action ( i actually consider myself quite a humble person, modest as well [insert kool-aid smile] --that is fond of double parentheses i mean wowie). so i thought :
me: hey self
self: yes?
me: what are we gonna call this blog? and can it not rhyme with angry or bitter....
self: yea about that..
me: so...any suggestions?
so self and me (I or whatever) brainstorm for about 2 minutes and agree that 1985nectar has some kind of sweet ass ring to it.
me: so its kind like the sweetest of 1985 . like the cream of the futha muckin crop. like the sweet cream. like the juice, the good part, the best part, when its not diluted, untouched, untainted...the life-giving drink of gods! the inside of the fruit, the sooouuul. your soul. your thoughts. you...
self: umm ...exactly. and did you know that "nectar" is derived from the Latin nectar "drink of gods," which in turn has its origins in the Greek word νέκταρ (néktar,) presumed to be a compound of the elements nek- "death" and -tar "overcoming."
me: sold.
THE END.
moving on lol.
okay so its been awhileeeee right? right.
so instead of gettin right into what brings me here tonight, id like to start off on a happier note: me. i was lookin at my brother's blog and one can really get a sense of what kind of person he is and what he likes.
(random: theres a full moon at 11:30p tonight. i think you all should know..although im not sure why i think you all should know haha)
anywhooo. im thinkin its time i let you all take a little journey into the world of the mind behind 1985nectar. lets start with the name, shall we? we shall. Sooo, i came up with the name for my blog, oh i dont know, months ago as u can see. the idea behind the name may lead u to believe that im on some narcissist type action ( i actually consider myself quite a humble person, modest as well [insert kool-aid smile] --that is fond of double parentheses i mean wowie). so i thought :
me: hey self
self: yes?
me: what are we gonna call this blog? and can it not rhyme with angry or bitter....
self: yea about that..
me: so...any suggestions?
so self and me (I or whatever) brainstorm for about 2 minutes and agree that 1985nectar has some kind of sweet ass ring to it.
me: so its kind like the sweetest of 1985 . like the cream of the futha muckin crop. like the sweet cream. like the juice, the good part, the best part, when its not diluted, untouched, untainted...the life-giving drink of gods! the inside of the fruit, the sooouuul. your soul. your thoughts. you...
self: umm ...exactly. and did you know that "nectar" is derived from the Latin nectar "drink of gods," which in turn has its origins in the Greek word νέκταρ (néktar,) presumed to be a compound of the elements nek- "death" and -tar "overcoming."
me: sold.
THE END.
moving on lol.
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